I realize that this is the first in a long time for a post on this blog, but today I feel it's fitting. I realize too, that no one reads this blog, so it's an appropriate space for me to put down my thoughts about things, esp. concerning artist endeavors and dreams.
The past few days have been trying emotionally, to say the least. The Beast February has taken its toll, and flooded my mind with memories past. As Adam Duritz wrote "the Price of a Memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings.".
As I write this about a month from now will be the first ever Rawhide-NYC leather contest, which I am producing. It is also the anniversary of my partner Tim's death, due to a mixture of AIDS complications and Pancreatic Cancer, back on March 13th 2005. (Funny, but 13 has always been a lucky number for me.) Anyway, the month leading up to his passing was hellish. Hospital visits, watching the man I had given my life to slip away, etc...it is something you never really get over. You just learn how to deal. Some say that the reason Im still single is that I haven't let go of him. lol I just think I'm picky. lol
Anyway, the contest will take place at the bar that we went to. In a way, I am doing what i am to carry on his legacy. In fact, today, i sent Email invitations out to his close friends (whom i run into from time to time). I am not sure if any of them will come, but there's always the possibility.
Onto other things, just last week someone asked me to send them a copy of Jacob, which I can't seem to stop twitching. lol. I sent it, knowing the effect that that one act play has on its readers and audiences. Surprisingly, the individual really took to the script, and it spoke to him. There may be life in the babe afterall. And with ANTGPSFL on the back burner, this may be the perfect thing to mount in June for Suicide Awareness, especially in the NYC area. (Im pondering that)
It's interesting (and im finally getting to the point and title of this post lol.) When it comes to my Art, outside of those who have seen it, or experienced it, I should say, people don't really see me as Artistic. They don't get it. I remember back in the Playwriting Class at Fordham I wrote a short play (Forget actually what it was called) centering around infidelity and homicide. (there was a fall down stairs that, when directed by, god i wish i remembered, was done so stylistically it was beautiful). When I wrote the antagonist of the piece, my professor told me that his main attribute was that he had a 'huge cock'. It was interesting, and a little frustrating at the time, but I think that's what a lot of folk see when they look at what I write. They see the facade of things. Amongst The Living was a perfect example of that. The networks saw a gay leather man protagonist. Uh oh. Of course, they disguised their opinions under the quote "too dark and sophisticated."
When I had the reading in NYC in November (a complete failure, i admit), one of the problems was the fact that Michael Hutchinson was cast with an actor who refused to look past the gay leatherman facade of the character. It lost its heart. And that, to any piece of Art, is deadly...but, ATL will live on. I am not through with it, by a long shot.
When i was clearing out just Email today I came upon one of my very very early attempts at Script writing, a libretto titled Another Story. Yes, a libretto. Looking at it immediately took me back to when, if you can imagine, i was even more innocent than i am now. lol. The Emails were between myself and a composer, during my freshman year at College, over ten years ago. I had saved them and forgot about them. Then today, they appeared. Looking back at the pieces in the email I realize that I was pretty ambitious with my Art then, as I am now. I also realize the there was no way anyone would want to see Another Story lol. But, for shits and giggles, let's revisit it. In the next post lol
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