Anywho, this blog is currently titled Dirait-On, which is French for So They Say. lol Now some of you may know that I am a member and group owner of another blog-ish site.
Now, it's not like me to bitch out like this, lol, okay, it kinda is, but i want to take a moment and vent about something that has been on my mind for the past few weeks.
I am one who wears his emotions etc on his sleaves. There's no hiding with me. Those who know me know that I am an Artist, a writer and director. Those who know me from NYC may have witnessed some of my productions. Funny sideline>
I graduated from Fordham University in 2001. During the four years at that university my writing or directing or both was responsible for several memorable 1st time experiences, including:
On Stage bullet wound complete with flying brain matter and head explosion
Stage Flooded with blood
All Leading Actors possessing Chest Hair
Simulated Rape
More Leather in Costumes than imaginable, incl. Oedpus in Leather
An audience Member having a panic attack and having to walk out...
and so forth. In fact, since my graduation, they have begun to refer to special effects, and edge and envelope pushing theatrical experiments "Costelloism", which is kinda cool.
Back on track, at the core of who I am, i consider myself an Artist. Now, contrary to popular beliefs, Artists don't hide from their emotions. At least I don't, especially when it comes to the written word.
Now, it is there that I release things. Call it, therapy, perhaps. lol Which bring me to my venting.
So, on this other site which i mentioned above, i say what I feel, and think, and believe, and i say it often times with passion and conviction. Do i always write the most popular things, or take the most politically correct of positions? Of course not lol
Well,
People that i know, several, in fact, have recently confessed to me that others on that site have questioned my mental stability to them. Under the guise of concern, these individuals (whom i do not know the identites) have asked if i was right in the head, was healthy mentally, well, you know the drill.
Let me just say that this really bugs me. Seriously seriously bugs me. And actually, the fact that my 'friends' even mentioned this to me, bugs me. Now, i will admit that I've been holding off on that site from calling out a many number of people as pure idiots, masagonistic twerps, ignoraneous malcontents, the list goes on. I am just tired of dealing with individuals who seem to have a mental age of 10 or 11 (And no, none of them are handicapped mentally).
Moreover, these people, i am convinced, can not read, or refuse to read. Perhaps it's selective. Two-syllable word maximum comprehension.
It is interesting to note that i am still a part of that other site, even though, it obviously looks like i should just leave it. The fact is, there are some really good folks there. And with what i state on my blogs there, these people interact and understand and that's what's important. So i'm staying for the time being.
As to my mental stability, well, I'm fine. Or as fine as someone who's Art lies in the horror genre can be lol.
Currently I am in pre production for Titus Andronicus, which I will direct in the Fall, i am still workin on Amongst The Living, and also a special project that I will refer to as Mr.B. I have recently begun a novel focusing on unrequited love, called aptly lol Unrequited lol as well. These are all works whose emotional layers and epiphanies lead one to very deep and sometimes dark places.
As an artist i firmly believe we need to go to those places, even if we don't want to go there. It will only make us stronger. And I will confess that no matter whatever else i am doing, be it my office job, or hosting a seminar, or atteding an event, or even writing this, well...in the words of Sondheim "Wherever you live there's a part of you always standing by, mapping out the sky, finishing the hat"
That's just who I am. My mind wanders through observation of Human interaction and the human condition. People watching in Sheep Meadow is one of the most fascinating things i have the pleasure of doing. People say i'm a dreamer, or an idealist. Truth is, i can and have taken the slightest bit of sight observations and transformed that moment into something much grander. For example, one time at The MET i viewed a photgraph. It depicted a naked woman laying on a chaise (black and white), with her wet hair snaking along her neck and cheeks as gravity pulled it towards the floor. The photgraph was taken by the frustrating "Anonymous" lol and the Caption below it read: Is she asleep? or is she Dead?
This picture spawned the creation of Sanctuary, one of my self-confessed lesser works. The story dealt with A woman in the 18th Century who had plummet to her death in order to not marry an arranged suitor in Paris. Of course, a Vampire finds her and claims and takes her instead. Not only is she resentful, but she's pissed. She basically allows the Vamp to teach her everything she needs to know, till she becomes more cunning and skilled than he (go feminism) and then turns on him, killing him, and as a result, killing herself (2nd times the charm). Her last line in the play is "You stole my death from me. I'm taking it back, and bringing you along with me".
Okay, it's not Shakespeare of Chekov, but I quote it just as an example of how my mind works.
Okay, venting almost over, lol im going to confess here a recent happening which also has my knots tied in a ribbon. And of course, it involves, gulp, a potential partner. lol
After several weeks of getting to know one another, etc. I finally gave in to the requests to read something that I had written. The piece i handed over is "Jacob" a piece which has been produced in NYC twice, in fact. A piece that is very dark. Very thought-provoking, and, i must admit, one of my favorites.
Well, upon reading the script, things went dreadfully sour. Comments such as "You're sick and disgusting" "How could you even think to write that?" etc were fired towards me. Now, as a theatrical critique, I glory in those kinds of responses.
From a potential mate? Not so much. In fact, when I mentioned that I have a fake decapitated head hanging in my bedroom, well, that about sealed the deal. lol
It's interesting. The response to the play totally affected and altered the response and reaction to me. Which i guess, is understandable lol
People always assume that someone who works in the genre that I do is mentally unstable, a sociopath, or what have you. It happens all the time, these misconceptions. I just want to put it out there. It's not true. lol
In fact, if it weren't for my Art, i may be crazy lol Does it frustrate me that potential boyfriends shy away because of it? Yeah. But i will choose my Art over Love anyday. Interesting, i know. Thank's for letting me vent lol
Anyway, i doubt anyone would have gotten this far, but if they did, here's some pics lol They are from RARE FLESH, an amazing photography book with Pictures by David Armstrong, and prose by Clive Barker, on of my ultimate idols and mentors. In fact, Clive is in the second pic. Enjoy!
Peace
Just
